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Proust Questionnaire

The Proust Questionnaire

Your most marked characteristic?

Prolly th e psoriasis. It sure seems to be a conversation starter and has definately colored my perspective.

To what things do you feel most indulgent?

my friends.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

the worry of not having enough to take care of the people you love.

The quality you most like in a man?

Age, Humor, Confidence, and Patience

The quality you most like in a woman?

Loyalty.

What do you most value in your friends?

Acceptance.

What is your principle defect?

Obesity. I'm also parabnoid, all the time, about everything.

What is your favorite occupation?

Classic socialite (not paris Hilton. Think more Truman Capote.)

What is your dream of happiness?

I simple home in the middle of nowhere with my friends where we all have enough.

What to your mind would be the greatest of misfortunes?

going deaf. no one is really alone that has music.

What would you have liked to be?

a magician.

In what country would you like to live?

France, or maybe England (like bristol or sussex)

What is your favorite color?

cerulean blue

What is your favorite flower?

Blue roses or calla lillies

What is your favorite bird?

The one given by an exasperated partner losing a fight.

Who are your favorite prose writers?

Stephen King, Chuck Palahniuk, JK Rowling, Bret Easton Ellis, Dominic Dunne, Dr. Suess, and Shakespeare as I love the plays but not the poetry.

Who are your favoite poets?


When my mother died I was very young,
And my father sold me while yet my tongue,
Could scarcely cry weep weep weep weep,
So your chimneys I sweep & in soot I sleep.

Theres little Tom Dacre, who cried when his head
That curled like a lambs back was shav'd, so I said.
Hush Tom never mind it, for when your head's bare,
You know that the soot cannot spoil your white hair

And so he was quiet. & that very night.
As Tom was a sleeping he had such a sight
That thousands of sweepers Dick, Joe, Ned, & Jack
Were all of them lock'd up in coffins of black,

And by came an Angel who had a bright key
And he open'd the coffins & set them all free.
Then down a green plain leaping laughing they run
And wash in a river and shine in the Sun.

Then naked & white, all their bags left behind.
They rise upon clouds, and sport in the wind.
And the Angel told Tom, if he'd be a good boy,
He'd have God for his father & never want joy.

And so Tom awoke and we rose in the dark
And got with our bags & our brushes to work.
Tho' the morning was cold, Tom was happy & warm
So if all do their duty, they need not fear harm.</font></b>

A little black thing in the snow,
Crying "weep! weep!" in notes of woe!
"Where are thy father and mother? Say!"
"They are both gone up to the church to pray.

"Because I was happy upon the heath,
And smiled among the winter's snow,
They clothed me in the clothes of death,
And taught me to sing the notes of woe.

"And because I am happy and dance and sing,
They think they have done me no injury,
And are gone to praise God and his priest and king,
Who make up a heaven of our misery."



Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were lov'd by wife, then thee.
If ever wife was happy in a man,
Compare with me, ye women, if you can.
I prize thy love more than whole Mines of gold
Or all the riches that the East doth hold.
My love is such that Rivers cannot quench,
Nor ought but love from thee give recompence.
Thy love is such I can no way repay.
The heavens reward thee manifold, I pray.
Then while we live, in love let's so persevere
That when we live no more, we may live ever.

I hardly suppose I know anybody who wouldn't rather be a success than a failure,
Just as I suppose every piece of crabgrass in the garden would much rather be an azalea,
And in celestial circles all the run-of-the-mill angels would rather be archangels or at least cherubim and seraphim,
And in the legal world all the little process-servers hope to grow up into great big bailiffim and sheriffim.
Indeed, everybody wants to be a wow,
But not everybody knows exactly how.
Some people think they will eventually wear diamonds instead of rhinestones
Only by everlastingly keeping their noses to their grhinestones,
And other people think they will be able to put in more time at Palm Beach and the Ritz
By not paying too much attention to attendance at the office but rather in being brilliant by starts and fits.
Some people after a full day's work sit up all night getting a college education by correspondence,
While others seem to think they'll get just as far by devoting their evenings to the study of the difference in temperament between brunettance and blondance.
Some stake their all on luck,
And others put their faith in their ability to pass the buck.
In short, the world is filled with people trying to achieve success,
And half of them think they'll get it by saying No and half of them by saying Yes,
And if all the ones who say No said Yes, and vice versa, such is the fate of humanity that ninety-nine per cent of them still wouldn't be any bettter off than they were before,
Which perhaps is just as well because if everybody was a success
nobody could be contemptuous of anybody else and
everybody would start in all over again trying to be a bigger
success than everybody else so they would have somebody
to be contemptuous of and so on forevermore.
Because when people start hitching their wagons to a star, That's the way they are.

Who is your favorite hero of fiction?

Carl Streator of Lullaby by Chuck Palahniuk
Bruce wayne of Batman by Bob Kane

Who are your favorite composers?

George and Ira Gershwin and Cole Porter

Who are your favorite painters?

Edward Hopper
Norman Rockwell
Damien Hirst
HR Giger

Who are your heroes in real life?

Richard Dawkins
Carl Sagan
Harold Lloyd
Frank McCourt

Who are your favorite heroines of history?

I have none.

What are your favorite names?

Maggie (but not Margaret)
Lola (but not Delores)
Bertram (but not Bert)

...there are others, but I'm holding out for children.

What is it you most dislike?

People who ignore their children. Religious zealots.

What historical figures do you most despise?

Hitler, Jerry Falwell, Anne Howe, mark chapman,

What event in military history do you most admire?

I admire them all. I only wish there weren't so many.

What reform do you most admire?

The repeal of prohibition. It's the one time I can think of that our civil liberties were restored since the declaration of independence.

What natural gift would you most like to possess?

I'd like to be more creative.

How would you like to die?

I'd like to drown, so I don't miss anything.

What is your present state of mind?

Anxious. I am looking forward to things to come, plus my favorite time of year is approaching.

To what faults do you feel most indulgent?

I procrastinate, I'm lazy (comedically so) and I waffle. Sometimes. Maybe. Maybe I waffle.

What is your motto?

All the water of the seven sea cannot sink a single ship, until it gets inside.

What is your greatest fear?

I fear, more than anything else, that things happen for a reason.

What is your greatest extravagance?

That I do not work in a conventional sense. My extravegence is time.

What is your favorite journey?

Anyplace I've never before been. Alone.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Piety.

On what occasion do you lie?

I can't even think of one. I'm really trying, too.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

Oh my god. I know, right?

What is your greatest regret?

Forgiving them.

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