?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Nonrequiters Suck

had a long entry, and this fucking computer deleted it. Long and short - want to cling to a friend, but want to be alone too. Feel rejected, misunderstood, and tired. Had an OCD atteck today, and it was very bad. want to sleep and never wake up

Tired of loving things that are taken, ininterested, or dying. and i miss Mr. Walls.

this makes more and more sense :

Oh in a little while from now
if I'm not feeling anyless sour
I promise myself to treat myself
and visit a nearby tower
and climbing to the top
will throw myself off
in an effort to make it clear
to whoever what it's like when you're shattered
left standing in the lurch at a church
where people saying 'my god
that's tough she's stood him up
no point in us remainig
we may as well go home'
as I did on my own
alone again naturally.
To think that only yesterday
I was cheerrful
bright and gay
looking forward to well who wouldn't do
the role I was about to play
but as if to knock me down
reality came around
and without so much
as a mere touch
cut me into little pieces
leaving me to doubt talk about
god in his mercy who if
he really does exist
why did he desert me in my hour of need
I truly am indeed
alone again naturally.
It seems to me that there are more hearts
broken in the world that can't be mended
left unattended what do we do what do we do
alone again naturally.
Now looking back over the years
and whatever else that appears
I remember I cried when my father died
never wishing to hide the tears
and at sixty-five years old
my mother
God rest her soul
couldn't understand why
the only man she had ever loved had been taken
leaving her to start with a heart
so badly broken despite
encouragement from me no words were ever spoken
and when she passed away
I cried and cried all day
alone again naturally.


i'm so tired

...leaving me to doubt talk about
god in his mercy who if
he really does exist
why did he desert me in my hour of need
I truly am indeed
alone again naturally.