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If I Were....

If I were a month I would be: December
If I were a day of the week I would be: Thursday
If I were a time of day I would be: 12:28 AM
If I were a planet I would be: Saturn
If I were a sea animal I would be: living in the Titanic
If I were a direction I would be: turning
If I were a piece of furniture I would be: a fainting couch
If I were a sin I would be: original
If I were a historical figure I would be: Zelda Fitzgerald
If I were a liquid I would be: thick
If I were a stone, I would be: praying to become sand
If I were a tree, I would be: a weeping willow
If I were a bird, I would be: a penquin
If I were a tool, I would be: that maglight that everyone needs at the bottom of the toolbox
If I were a flower/plant, I would be: a cactus
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: a raging storm
If I were a mythical creature: an honest politician
If I were a musical instrument: a weathered violin
If I were an animal, I would be: an owl
If I were a color, I would be: cerulean blue
If I were a vegetable, I would be: an onion (onions have layers)
If I were a sound, I would be: screaming
If I were an element, I would be: water
If I were a song, I would be: Perfect - Smashing Pumkins
If I were a movie, I would be directed by: Sam Mendes
If I were a book, I would be written by: Frank McCourt
If I were a food, I would be: served cold
If I were a place, I would be: New York City
If I were a material, I would be: burburry tweed
If I were a scent, I would be: old books
If I were a religion, I would be: profound
If I were a word, I would be: fuck
If I were an object, I would be: a frame
If I were a body part I would be: hair
If I were a facial expression I would be: staring
If I were a subject in school I would be: literature
If I were a cartoon character I would be: Daria
If I were a shape I would be a: dodecahedron
If I were a number I would be: 441932
If I were a letter I would be: L