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What is wrong with me??

I mean I'm smart, capable, employed, funny, easy...

Why won't anyone date me???

Back in the beginning I wanted a motivated, successful, intelligent, older man with security and prodigious wit.

Now I want a mammal.

So my lame ass is standing here while normal people sleep staring at a picture that is staring back at me. But he isn't real, man. Why does my heart hurt so? Romantics no longer exist. They're all thirty-somethings gay men.

Oh, like that's a big ol' baboons-ass surprise to you.
Shut up.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Hell, I look at my love-happy friends and I get tired. It's sick. My gay friends have to be curious about girls right? A little bit? I'll think about baseball. Oh, Fuck it.

I hope I never fall in love. What hurts this much staring at a picture would most certainly kill me in reality.