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I had the creepiest dream today...

I dreamt that I woke up and it was 1924. I thought I was in heaven: great music, amazing movies, and a time when my interest mirrored the public interest. It was a dream come true (forgive the pun) because I wasn't the fucking outcast wierdo I am now. So I hop to, get dressed, and head out utterly excited.

I go out to a club and try to break the ice with a young group. Everything was perfect, and then it all goes wrong. I try to discuss my interest and it completely falls flat. No one knows what I'm talking about, and I completely avioded. Just like today. I always imagined that I am a person out of time, and the great tragedy is that I feel cheated sometimes by that. I felt if I were alive then, it would change everything. In my dream that was not how things were. I was still an outsider looking in. What I wouldn't give to have someone in my life that connected with me in that way. If I had one, just one person who could relate. But I don't. I feel like I'm standing outside a Woolworth handing out flyers for the greatest sale ever, and no one is arrested.

It's very barren, and it sucks.

Comments

widowswalk
Jan. 11th, 2006 03:14 am (UTC)
mein fuhrer, I can walk!
I miss you so. I hate that I never get to the phone in time. My schedule is so hectic lately. But I musssssst see you soon. I want to know what you've been up to and things.