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Wierd Al is the man, and thanx Droidguy1119
Watch this

These are my confessions
Just when I thought I'd said all I can say
I came up with more secrets to tell you today
These are my confessions
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me
So now I gotta give you part three of my

Confessions
First I told you 'bout the skank that I was cheating with
Then I mentioned she's havin' my kid
That's not all
No, I recall more, you see
So I'll give you part three of my
Confessions

Now, this gonna be the hardest thing I think I ever had to do
Gonna tell you everything I left out of parts one and two
Like, remember when I told you that I knew Pauly Shore
Pauly Shore, that's a lie, I don't know what I said that for
I borrowed your chapstick from you, without asking
Oh, I tried out your nose-hair trimmer too
And, by the way, your diamond ring is cubic zirconium
I killed your goldfish accidentally
Just replaced him with another one

These are my confessions
Just when I thought I'd said all I can say
I need to get some things off my chest right away
These are my confessions
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me
Now, I guess I gotta give you part three of my
Confessions

Threw up on your dog last time I had too much to drink
There've been times when I peed in your sink
Don't know why, but you and I should agree
That belongs in part three of my
Confessions

Baby, forgive me, I'm still tryin' to figure out
Why I used your toothbrush to clean off the bathroom grout
Oh, and sometimes in private
Really to dress up like Shirley Temple and spank myself with a hockey stick
Hockey stick, my boss thinks I'm a jerk, didn't get that raise
I haven't changed my underwear in twenty-seven days
And when I'm kissing you, I fantasize you're a midget
I'm so sorry, Debbie -- I mean Bridget

These are my confessions
Just when I thought I'd said all I can say
I've got a few more secrets I'd like to convey
These are my confessions
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me
I guess I gotta give you part three of my
Confessions

Gave you buttered toast I'd dropped and picked up off the floor
FYI, it was not a cold sore
Whoops, my bad, you'll be madder at me
When I finish part three of my
Confessions

"You don't know how hard it is for me to tell you this, but...you remember that shirt you got me for my birthday? Well, I returned it for store credit. That thing was hideous, what were you thinking? Oh, by the way, I wasn't really sick last week, I just didn't want to go to your stupid office picnic. Oh, and when I told you at breakfast we were all out of Rice Krispies, what I meant was...there was only enough left...for me.

I'm sorry."

These are my confessions
Just when I thought I'd said all I can say
I thought of some more things that should scare you away
These are my confessions
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me
I guess I gotta give you part three of my
Confessions

Once I blew my nose and then I wiped it on your cat
And I lied, yes, that dress makes you look fat
Anyway, I shouldn't say any more
Until I give you part four of my
Confessions

"I mean, I'm just getting started here. I'm not even halfway down the list! This thing could go on for...hey, where are you going? Honey? What? Was it something I said? ...Women."






You know what sux big time? When I moved, all my Wierd AL went missing. Just gone. Other cds too, like a whole box, but the whole Al collection was in there. Massive bummer. Now I gotta start over.

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
darth_balls
Sep. 16th, 2006 10:15 am (UTC)
No sorry no spending monies.... no, no no no no no no no...
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )