Currently dashing the hopes of my parents. (lolasenvy) wrote,
Currently dashing the hopes of my parents.

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I swear for JESUS !!!!

An Email From Someone Who Just Found Out He Will Be On This Week's 'To Catch A Predator,' To His Entire Address Book

Posted yesterday
To: [All Family]; [All Friends]
Subj: Friday Night from 8:45 - 10:15

Hey everybody,

It'sbeen a while since I've seen a lot of you guys, so I thought I'd inviteall of you over to my house on Friday night from 8:45 till 10:15.  It'sgonna be so much fun.  I rented all kinds of DVDs and I have a ton ofboard games. Boggle, anyone? Plus, free brewskies!  My cable isn'tworking so we can't watch TV, but who cares, right?  Most stuff on TVis just lies.  I mean, they call it "reality TV" but that's definitelynot really what happened.  They ruin people's lives just to getratings, you know?

Anyway, I really need you to arrive atprecisely 8:45 and leave no sooner than 10:15. OK? I just feel likeanything less than that won't be enough to really hang out.  And I missyou guys!  Like Bill – last time I saw your family, little Charlottecould only have been 6 or 7!  And Brian- Are you still a lawyer? We'resuch good buds that I know I would do all your taxes for free no matterwhat my boss says, just like I know you would represent me pro bono ifI needed you to. That's why we’ve all gotta hang out for exactly thathour and a half.

Mom, I bet you're wondering why you and dad areon this list.  Well, I'll tell you why. I want my friends to meet theman and woman who raised me and who are accountable for all of myactions and/or personality traits.  It's all them, people.

Totallyoff topic, but can anyone define entrapment?  I know, I know, I'm apart time history professor, I should know this- but I teach WorldHistory, not U.S. History at the community college.

Anyway, Irealize that some of you live far away, and you may not be able to makeit this Friday from 8:45 to 10:15. That’s fine. If you’ll be at home,there’s going to be an incredible documentary on PBS about fashiondesign in the 1920's. Oh man, what I wouldn't give to watch that! Also,PBS doesn’t have commercials, so you won’t ever have to change thechannel! I heard TV scientists are calling it "the greatest singlepiece of filmed television ever produced."  Also I heard Bank ofAmerica sponsored the show, and they’re giving out $1,000 every minutefor the full hour and half. Stuff like that is why PBS is great and nota bunch of life-ruining scumbags. 

Anyway, I hope you guys canall make it over to my place this Friday from 8:45 till 10:15.  If youneed directions, you can always grab them off my MySpace(  If you need a ride, I'll come pick youup.  For those of you who live in other states, I was thinking ofchartering a luxury bus for everyone – I just need a head count, soRSVP. I really want all of you to come over on Friday from 8:45 till10:15.

Oh, one last thing: I need a Russian passport. Can anyone help me out?
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