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August 9th, 2002

... but what the fuck??? I am so tired of being tired when there is such bullshit in this world. Life is just pissing me off right now with this sudden uprising of circumstance. Pardon me, but FUCK YOU. Life is hard, but there is no need to overexert your efforts in order to break me. So fuck you. As for religion, that great substance that bonds together the petty threads of life--much like carpet lint in play-dough, you can kiss my ass. What were you smoking when you decided to write a million questions and give no other answer than "Trust that this is for the best" when you put a group of people as your representation who are dubious, conniving, mean-spirited, thieving, fucking child rapers who are a daily disservice to you. And MOTHERFUCK cancer. That ill-begotten force that sees fit to eat all the goodness away in MY FRIEND while it sleeps inside those who warrant worse. My friends can't even see how good it can be because they're too busy chasing the lightning. Life isn't always bad, and sometimes you have to LISTEN to your companions. You can't hear the screaming if you're belting your own song. I fucking hate everything, especially the employment situation in Columbus. Watching a good person like my dad have to swallow the minimal pride he has to take care of his family has me sick. Everytime an employer looks at his choices and sighs, everytime his resume is received by a head shaking I feel it. It's almost as ridiculous as trying to get credit in this Goddamn city. I FUCKING HATE COLUMBUS! Here I am, up to my knees in bullshit, watching as people have excuses made for them and having opportunities handed over my head, and I can't say anything. And I come to work and I listen to ballads and all I think is 'if I had a gun, if I had a gun' and then I am expected to feel sorry for the wandering homeless in this this ashtray I live in? Here's an idea: get a job! If my dad can do it, you sure as Hell can. Stop expecting me to feel sorry for you because you're to lazy to be anything more than you are right now: nothing. You should be happy you're in a country that gives you that choice. I hope EVERYONE over in the sandbox from Hell dies slowly. If the only thing you can create in more hatred, then just fucking die. I'm sitting around, being made to feel guilty by bleeding-heart liberal bastards because I haven't done my part to save the rare polka dotted wombat, well Fuck you too. I'm too busy saving the REAL endangered species of our time: Original Expression. If you thought for two seconds about the idiocy of your protest, then you'd see the point is futile because you're just strangling yourself. So get fucked, and take those P.M.R.C. cunts with you. Those useless bitches make femininity an ugly thing. Do you know what it's like trying to be a lady in today's society? I paste on and squeeze in and tuck and roll and buff and tape just to realize you can only do so much if there's nothing inside to work with. But I'm 18: too young to be weathered, too old to be happy. I guess I'll just continue my act. I'll smile and laugh and you can continue on with your life and never think twice about how miserable I am. It doesn't matter anyway. Everybody gets ahead by pretending to be something they're not. Ask Craig Kilborn.

This didn't make me feel better (thanx for nothing Dennis.)


you stupid republican bitch
Currently dashing the hopes of my parents.

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