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Ready to be looked at that way

What song...

Reminds you if an ex-lover: Three Libras - A Perfect Circle
Reminds you of an ex-friend: I've Seen That Movie Too - Elton John
Makes you cry: Oh Father - Madonna
Makes you laugh: I'm Only Sleeping - The Beatles
You never want to hear again: Dilemma - Nelly (and that bitch from Destiny's Bastard Child)
You can't stop listening to right now: Les Yeux Ouvert - Beautiful South
Sums up your teenage years: Kodacrome - Paul Simon
You want to get married to: At Last - Etta James
You like to wake up to: Fallin - Alicia Keyes
You like out of your parent's record collection: Dust in the Wind -Kansas
Song you love that you wouldn't know about if it weren't for a friend: Bizarre Love Triangle - New Order
Makes you think of someone who died: Fire and Rain - James Taylor
You love the video more than the tune: Do the Evolution - Pearl Jam
Reminds you of your first crush/love: Everything you Want - Vertical Horizon
Reminds you of your current crush/love: Trouble - Coldplay
Makes you think of sex: Is This Real? - Lisahall
Makes you think of being alone: Take Five - Dave Brubeck
Has only been released recently but you love already: Don't Know Why - Norah Jones
You are embarrassed to admit you like: Blowin' Me Up - JC...whatever
Perks you up: Best of My Love - The Emotions
You love to sing: Road to Nowhere - Talking Heads

Someone wounded me recently. I think that no matter how much its explained, no one really gets me. They just tolerate me better. It's a mean thing to allow someone to trust you. I felt so naked and ashamed and I don't need this right now.

I like this guy and it suddenly occured to me as late that it's not just a like situation. I haven't 'liked' someone this much since my first crush - quite possibly the MOST painful experience of my life. I'm scared because I know I've two options: accept that nothing's going to happen and move on, or let him find out and bare myself to the enevitable rejection. I hope I can deaden these feelings in the end.

I can feel this holiday season turning badly.