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Life Sucks...

This has been the worst shift of my life. The server went down and there was a mapping problem, not to mention the lost air time, the Denon faultering, and losing Bob and Sheri TWICE.

I'm so fucking pissed off right now.

And this continues a horrible last evening. I can't even sleep. I feel so old and weathered and stupid and I know I should have known better.

The guys at the house try, but I don't think they get it. I appreciate it; but sometimes it reminds me how very alone I feel.

When I get home, I'm getting comfortable and immobile and trying to forget how small I feel.

I want to cry; but everyone's around.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 20th, 2002 11:52 am (UTC)
Alrighty Now
I'm very sorry things aren't going too well for you buddy, i mean we are all trying as you said.... It just seems like your not letting anyone in to help. And that's cool. We all have our privacies to somethings. This issue your having is very private to you.

But always remember... hold your head up, smile and nod, and everything will be alright.
Dec. 20th, 2002 01:40 pm (UTC)
Alright honey... I hate that you are having such a bad day, but you have to remind yourself that forces beyond your control have NOTHING to do with your level of competency in doing your job. You can run that board better than anyone I know, and that's a fact. Remember the night of the storms from hell when we lost power to the whole building, yet still managed to keep all stations on the air with the backup and the generator? Don't you EVEN try and assume blame for things you cannot control. I understand how hard that is for you, but you're uber-responsibility cannot extend to equiptment failure and lost signals.

You're trying to start a car with a weakened battery and probably little to no gas. I know you're having a hard time sleeping, you're probably not eating like you should either because that is what you do when you're upset. Let the housemates know that you must have it quiet when you're resting, or when I get home I'm fucking beating the shit out of them all with a frozen herring - don't even get me started on squid, o-kay?

I love you and will see you in a few days - have some quiet time and remind yourself that this feeling is temporary and not fixed, a fact you lose sight of at times like these. Call my cell if you need me, I love you and will see you soon...
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )


you stupid republican bitch
Currently dashing the hopes of my parents.

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