So I'm sitting in the studio watching the Christmas special from the first season of Pefect Strangers. ::sniff:: And I'm crying. Because it's a great show. Balki always saw the beauty in things because he was humble and could see how speial even the smallest things are.

I really want to hug all my friends right now. I want to hold them and for a minute give them my full attention and let them know that I love them.

I want them to know how scared I was this week. How much I thought about death and how short life can be. How ashamed I've been over this. How I felt like a failure at the one thing women should be able to do. How sad I am at the condition and how grateful I am over the diagnosis.

This is probably horemones but I really love you guys. And I need you guys right now. I'm not upset, I'm fortunate. I was so frightened. If you were there for me, then I thank you. If you had better things to do, then that's your issue to deal with. I owe all of you a hug because I'm going to see the beauty in today. I'm going to make it last.

I really mean that. I'm being selfless and completely honest right now.