Currently dashing the hopes of my parents. (lolasenvy) wrote,
Currently dashing the hopes of my parents.

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American life...I live the American dream

Hmmm, don't feel right about something. I know what you're doing, and it worries me. Nevermind how I know.

Anyway, watching the kid is now my primary job. The little bastard threw me down the stairs yesterday. He and I can be so alike at times. Not really looking at new jobs right now. Am doing ok financially, at least for now, but I cannot shake this bizarre feeling of worthlessness. I haven't been unemployed since I was 12, so being 'officially' out of work is weird. I still consider TLB a job, as I am finally being compensated for it, so I am working. It just sparks my OCD to be off balance like this.

I changed my hair. I usually change my hair when I need to feel in control. I like it, and I've received compliments from dad (really hard sell) so go figure. Did some readings, which I enjoy immensely. I really love that. Gave Nate his gift, but he didn't say anything. Don't really know what to make of that. I told him also that I don't love him anymore. That perhaps is a greater gift than the trip. Hope he's happy with the choices he's made. I hope he's happy period.

I have a tremendous amount of pain to send someone very soon. I have been crossed and my friends will soon see me fall upon said person as an ocean. God have mercy on her because I WILL NOT.

Well, if considered my friend, may your day be brighter and more full of joy than the days before it. May every moment challenge your ability to perceive love, because you give it to me. Because I call you friend, you have the greatest compliment I can give.

If not, spend eternity wondering why not. For the misery you have spread will catch up with you soon.
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