I would have a Bible. It would be funny. It would be written in one liners and would be worn on the bumpers of fellow Bumpologists. It would say things like:

Mediocrity killed the cat. Well, my cat. I killed yours.

I want to drown in your gene pool.

Everyone makes mistakes. Mine was knowing you.

I believe Britney Spears is more than just a singer
...she's also a pretty good argument for abortion.

I hate mirrors. They only show you what you are.

I don't know who my daddy is - my mom was really popular.

You'd look so much better in a coffin.

Because the internet sucks, I haven't been able to post that I'm now a Godmother to the most beautiful little boy on the planet (Don't procreate, you won't come close.) Gabriel Vincent Christopher Massoud, 7lbs. 15.7 oz. and 19 in. was born 22 June 2003. I can't wait to warp his little mind.
Also, I got a job. I'm gonna work in the research department of the WC Bradley Memorial Library. Being a distributing facet in the education of high school and college kids desperately trying in vain to pass off poorly written, badly interpreted convolusions of historic events and scientific fact. Oh, the damage to be done there...

As a personal note to those interested, I can no long eat from buffets. I had this dream about it; and now whenever I think about it I start wierding out. Can't reqally explain, but it's getting harder recently to suppress some of the OCD. I'm also obsessing about being touched. Ironically enough, I'm not obsessing about anyone.

Anyway, hopefully I'll see most of you guys soon. I'm having some mild surgery on Friday but I should see you at Pride. Take Care!