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This song has no title

I'm not always funny. Not everything I do is intended to make people laugh. I'm not always smiling. And all those things that everyone seems to so love about me aren't always pleasant either. Not being able to rid myself of a notion or thought or image isn't cute. It's troublesome. Not sleeping and nervous tics and neurosis aren't things I maintain just to have an anecdote for the peanut gallery. Most of the things that have so endeared me to people make me miserable. Tears are the truest thing I produce. I wish I were someone else. I wish that I could enjoy something without having to make it a part of who I am. All those things for which I harbor disdain make me the person people can tolerate. But it isn't always funny and it isn't always cute. And it isn't an easy wound to dress when everyone patronizes me.

There is no real point.


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 15th, 2002 12:08 am (UTC)
::slaps smile off of own face::
I personally don't give a shit with how many nervous tics/habit's/twitches you have. That's not why I love you. I love you because you are Renea. Miss Ruby on my lj. You have shown me so much about everything . You challenge me, which is a gift the is greater than an autographed Ewan poster (and that's fucking hard to beat). I love you very much and hold you in the highest regard and feel somewhat insulted that you feel that you can't be 3,000% yourself with me. Maybe that entry wasn't addressed to me, but I'm answering anyway. If you want to cry, I'll sit there with you while you bawl your eyes out. If you want to scream, I'll stand there and take it. If you want me to get the fuck away, I'll be in the next room. There isn't anything that I wouldn't do for you. Please don't feel so isolated or as if you have to put on a show. You're not on stage for me or anyone else. And for the love of all things Holy don't wish you were someone else. If you weren't you, (after knowing you) I wouldn't feel whole. I wouldn't have anything any other way. But if there's something that I can do to bring a smile to your face, let me know. you, you , big, dumb stupid.
Jul. 15th, 2002 04:22 am (UTC)
You know something? The reasons I love you are many and varied from one sentiment to the next. I'd love it if just once you could see yourself as I see you, as others see you.

"It doesn't really matter if you're all jumbled up inside, because love is endless and the world is wide."

- Hothouse Flowers
Jul. 15th, 2002 09:27 am (UTC)
I'm so glad you're home (safe)!

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )


you stupid republican bitch
Currently dashing the hopes of my parents.

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