As far as friends go, if you don't like,understand, care about, etc. my slight infatuations, they I'll miss you. for a little while. Jude was right. This isn't some illness, it's part of who I am. I'm not hurting anyone, and I'm tired of feeling bad and apologizing for this. That's as foolish as thanking my mom for no longer beating me. If you don't see the brilliance in something the way I do, well it's nothing new. I'm very used to it by now.
If you want to try to see it from my point of view: he's very smart, he's older, romantic (he pines for his wife who died four years ago), plays the clarinet, loves the song "stranger on the shore", likes walking in the rain, a great listener, he's extremely tidy, he's dedicated to making the world a safer place, and he's a good dresser.
As monk puts it "I am what I am."
P.S. For God's sake, start laughing at me again. What a tragedy it would be if you all took me seriously.