- If you could have directed any film in history, what would you choose?
Hmmm. Wow. Ever? This is weird because I could say "Triumph Des Willens" just so I could kill Hitler, or "Being There" to have known Peter Sellers while he was doing perhaps the ONLY movie he really wanted to do, but I think my definate answer would be Annie Hall. It is so true to New York, to the Jewish, to youth, and to love. And to have seen Woody Allen before Soon Ye insanity would be unbelievable.
Or the Fisher king. yeah.
- If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would do?
Sadly enough, consolidate my debts. First thing I thought of.
- If you could have been the lover of any person in history, who would you choose?
Harry Anderson. But just for one night. He could be a lifelong friend after just one night.
- If you could take revenge on one person who has wronged you with no recourse or retaliation, who would it be, why would they deserve it, and what would you do?
I would grant that bitch every single thing she has pretended to have survived. Only because I cannot possibly devise something she deserves. Death is too good for that thing.
- If you were to be a circus or carnival performer, what would you do?
Tarot reader. But I'd date the tree card monte guy.
- If you could see anyone alive fully naked, who would you choose?
Richard Belzer. Just curious. Or Ryan, I could use a good laugh.
- If you were to be a machine, what machine would you be?
a vcr. How fucking cool must they have been in the 70s and 80s?
- If you could put anyone in prison, who would you lock up?
I dunno. after the scott petesen thing, I'm kinda jazzed and feeling content.
- What is your single worst fear?
Getting pregnant, fighting to keep it only to have it born with an awful complication.
Strike that, if my child were sexually abused, not even God could protect the guilty party. I am truly afraid of what I would do.
- If you could be a contestant on any game show, which would you like to be on?
you bet your life.
- What is one of your favorite fantasies?
The smell in New York City. Sometimes, if I'm alone and it's quiet, I can still smell that breeze near the park. The smell is where magic starts. Then you an hear the carr horns and the police sirens and the millions of endless dangling converdsations. It's not there, but it's a lot better than here.
- If you could eliminate one thing you do each day in the bathroom so that you would never have to do it again, what would you choose?
Yeah. Well let's just say Mike doesn't do it.
- If you could arrange a jam session with any three musicians in the world, who would you choose?
Peter Gabriel, Cole Porter, and Erikah Budu
- If you were to be a news correspondent posted to any foreign country, where would you like to go?
England, but only if I could stay six months or more.
- If you could take away the vocal chords of anyone, who would it be?
Michael Moore. Or Fran Dresher. Eh, same effect.
- If you had to have one platonic friend witness your next sexual act, who would it be?
Ryan Perry. He used to poke fun that I would never have the nerve to lose my virginty. I'd love for him to have to watch good old fashioned ugly fuckin'
- If you could have prevented one event in history, what event would you eliminate?
The crucifixion of Jesus. Man, I am so over that shit.
- What should the slogan of your town be?
Welcome to Columbus: Keep driving.
- If you could have been the producer of any television show or series, which one would you pick?
Wes Craven's Nightmare Cafe. I would have fought harder to keep it on the air. It had a lot of promise.
- If you had to give the three most important qualities of a good mate, what would they be?
- If you could have changed on thing about the death of one of your relatives, what would you alter?
No one thinks I'm a mother, but I can't forget that I'm not one anymore. I wish there was someplace in this world I could go to mourn my son. I wish he had a place beyond my heart. So that five years from now won't be the only person who knows he existed. So it won't be like he never existed.
- If you could have changed one thing about your parents while you were a child, what would it have been?
I wish my mom could have been less angry, more accepting. I wish I had meant something to my father.
- If you could give a single piece of advice to the film industry in Hollywood, what would you say?
There aren't as many of us, but we are far more loyal. Keep making smart saavy picture for the times.
- If you could have three supernatural abilities, what would they be?
telephotosis, shapshifting, and I'd be psychic.
- If you could give your parents one gift, what would you give them?
pride in me.