Well, my 21st birthday is almost here. I don't think anyone should feel this old after only 21 years. I say with no ego whatsoever that I can't believe what I've survived so far. I am tired, but so much more aware (Thank you Chester.) People I thought were my world are now gone, and I feel nothing. Which isn't malicious, quite contrary, it's sad. The people that I actually miss, the window dressing to the big show, are coming out of the woodwork, so hopefully I can move forward without offending them, since I have as much buried past as anyone I'm likely to find. Anyone who wants a fresh start is welcomed one, all you have to do is ask. Here's hoping that 21 brings more sensitivity, and more maturity than it has promised others.
In other thoughts, one thing I m very excited about is Pride 2005. I told Brad I want to be involved, and it means a great deal to me to be more than a spectator. In watching, I have questioned everything about love and trust and truth and what I need as a person and how I love...
and that was only watching.
I want my hands dirty, I want to work for it. It isn't just a party or an excuse to go hang out. It's the other 362 days and living them too.
Mike and I have officially started saving to move to New York. We are putting a little away every month (about $400) for the next three years. I am guaranteed a job with a WAG in Manhattan, and Mike is going back to school on his computer science major. I have invited Kate to go with us, and she may go sooner, we may go sooner, but its always nice to travel with family.
Speaking of such things, I am renting a van (or mini-van) to take to Atlanta for Pride. If anyone wants to save the money on gas or just wants the company, comment and come along!
Remember if you read this, I love you and want your day filled with gratification. Learn to leave embitterment in the past. Everyone is someone's Adonis, be a great one
All my love, me